Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
