Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
