So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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