Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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