Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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