I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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