I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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