He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
