If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
