Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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