Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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