woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
