East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
