So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
