So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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