He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
