Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
