Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
