are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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