I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
