just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
PANTIES FOUND
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