wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
