Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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