You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
