grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
