...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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