I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Dick very happy bro
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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