I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
