areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it's like iHOP with fire
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
