he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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