No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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