New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
