Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
