problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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