and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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