it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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