Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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