I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
