I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
