he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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