I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
