And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
