Non-Jews are for practice
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
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Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
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Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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