i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
