i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
