someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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