So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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