I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
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at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
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Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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