just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
