I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
