It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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