Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
