I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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