im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
