I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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